I Feel So Unnecessary

In honor of grandparents' day Caring Across Generations is asking individuals to post granecdotes about their grandparents between August 22nd and September 8th. So, here's mine- it involves my grandmother and a certain type of institution. My grandmother  was a young psychiatric nurse trainee in Baltimore in the 1950s. In class one day certain types of institutions were being discussed. Having grown up in an isolated mountain community she was uniformed about certain goings on in the world beyond. Somehow prostitution came up in the course of the lesson. Goodness, she'd never heard of such an institution. Being curious, she posed this question to the instructor: " What's a Prostitution?"

In her 90 years she went through a depression and several wars. She helped raise her younger brothers, a daughter, and two grandkids. She overcame diversity and became one tough chick. What she taught me- how to behave when I went out in public or get a butt whooping, how to make deviled eggs, and how not to take any crap off of people and speak my mind. She will be missed but I'm proud to say I'm a lot like her. I helped care for my grandmother for over eight years. It was stressful at times but I got to know and appreciate her better and immensely enjoyed spending time with her. She was certainly one of a kind. R.I.P. Cille.

"Lisa", my grandmother asked looking at my wedding band, "Do you think you need to have your ring re-sized?" "No, it's alright", I said. I think it was her way of telling me I had put on weight and my fingers were fat.They're just puffy, though.

As I was taking a wheelchair out of the store to take to my grandmother I noticed a sign not to take wheelchairs or scooters outside. Well, being one to not follow rules I started out the door with it...and all of a sudden heard "BEEPBEEPBEEP!" I understand they might be afraid of the chairs getting stolen, but it was a fairly big wheelchair with a metal bar attached to it. It's not like we could stuff one in the trunk or something. Yes, that's right folks- Beware of Mamaw Cille the Wheelchair Bandit and her two nefarious sidekicks Glenda the Bad Witch and The Book Worm! They strike fear into the hearts of pharmacies and medical supply stores everywhere. Mwahahahaahhaha, hide your walkers, hide your canes, hide your Poli-grip and hide your Ben-gay!

We took Cille to a craft fair yesterday. She hadn't been to one in a long time and always enjoyed going. At first she said she didn't want me to have to push her around but I told her I didn't mind and when she saw a booth she wanted to look at to let me know. It didn't take her long to get into it and we ended up going to nearly every booth. At one booth she saw a bracelet she liked, she said "Now who can I get this for? Oh, I know it's my birthstone so I'll get it for myself." At another booth she saw a painting she liked and when told the price said, "I don't have enough money with me to get it." "Yes, you do.", I said. "Lisssa", she said under her breath, "NO, I don't." I forgot to play a long with her. Whoops. She also didn't mind telling the merchants her opinion. She saw an ink pen for $35 and proclaimed, "Ooh, that's too stiff." As we were leaving I asked if she had fun and she...

These are some of the things my grandmother said while I was at her house yesterday: Cille: I'm hungry. Grandfather: There's a dinner in there Lisa can heat up for you. Cille: You can have that ol'd dinner, me and Lisa are going out to eat. Cille: Give me some money. Bobo (that's what everybody calls my grandfather): I'm broke, I ain't got none. Cille: Well, thank ye, thank ye very much. (He did end up giving her money, you don't say no to Cille) About a relative having diarrhea- Is she going with us? Oh, she has the diarrhea, she can't go she might shit in the car. Mom proclaimed how hateful some people can be. Cille's philosophy on that is: "Who ain't? I can be at times and I don't care to own it."

Passing by a friend's house my grandmother waved. I told her the person wasn't on the porch and I said, "I think that was a chicken." She then said, "Well, I was waving at the chicken then."  Chickens need friends, too I suppose.

My mother and grandfather have a tendency to, uh, butt heads a lot. I hadn't seen my grandmother in a few days so I went down there today. As soon as I walked in the door there was butting going on. I managed to remain calm, however, it was through no effort of mine. Jesus had to take over. He held my tongue back, and let me tell you that's quite a job to do. My grandfather was fussing about the washing machine and how expensive it was. He said he was going to get rid of it, to which my grandmother responded with- "I don't give a shit. You  can get rid of the whole house as far as I care." When I got there she was all ready and waiting for me to take her out. As we were going out the door my grandfather told her to be careful. She said, "Aw, shit. You gonna start hollering at me all the way out the door.?"

My grandmother Cille has a particular philosophy when someone gets angry. She says, "They need to scratch their ass and get glad."

  I told my grandmother today was my brother and sister-in-law's 11th anniversary. She asked if Scott and I will make it to 11 yrs. I told her I hoped so, if Scott keeps me. She said, "Well Scott's alright. Now if you'll just be alright."

My grandmother had to go to the ER today because she was having trouble breathing. When the doctor came in and told her she needed to stay a day or two for observation, she proclaimed this in front of him: "SHIT! You mean I have to stay? I didn't come up here to stay."