I Feel So Unnecessary

We took Dad to the hospital today to get a holter monitor put on. As usual the discussion was deep: " Wonder what your Mommy will think when I have this machine on? I'll be like that one on tv with the artifical arm, leg, and eye. We can make him better, faster, stronger", Dad said. " Yes, you'll be the Six Dollar Man", said I. " Sharper than a bowling ball, able to leap the kitchen table in a single thud. It's the Six Dollar Man." After he got it on- " Don't call me Iron Man, call me Aluminum Man. Lisa, this thing's expensive so I'm now the Ten Dollar Man. Ten Dollar Aluminum  Man. I don't have a fancy eye like the other, though." " But you do have a really fierce squint.It's creepy", The Husband said. " And I can see my a** with both eyes.", said Dad. The Six Dollar Man- Able to leap a table with a single thud

My Dad had a doctor’s appt. Wednesday. He told the doctor his  concerns and more blood work was ordered. Because of what showed up in the blood work the dr. wanted Dad to have a CT scan to make sure he didn’t have any blood clots. This news didn’t go over well. See Dad doesn’t like closed in places or needles. That’s because he’s normal. Anyone who looks forward to crawling in a MRI hole or getting stuck with needles is a not playing with a full deck. Yay, I get to have blood drawn! Highlight of my life! But the dr. was really concerned to I tried talking to him rationally, then bossily, and then using a guilt trip. Curses! Nothing worked. So… I told my brother to have my niece talk to him. Here is what she said: ” You go to doctor. Be brave. I got shot, it not hurt. It’s Ok. Be brave.” He went and had his test done today.  Being manipulative works. He also took an anti anxiety- med and became a fan of it. ” I like this stuff. I feel woozy and floaty. I sh...

QUDQWFYSJF33 Nurse (to my grandfather): "You're so sweet and nice, I could take you home with me." Cille: "Take him."

My grandmother had to go to the ER today because she was having trouble breathing. When the doctor came in and told her she needed to stay a day or two for observation, she proclaimed this in front of him: "SHIT! You mean I have to stay? I didn't come up here to stay."