I Feel So Unnecessary

Today in Times Square people gathered for Good Riddance Day- a day for getting rid of your worst memory from 2011. All I can say is if I had went I'd have to moved up there because I would have been a long time choosing. The thought of symbolically getting rid of bad memories is an interesting idea; but I'm of the school of thought that bad experiences are ultimately a good thing. Of course, I didn't enjoy having cruddy things happen to me but once they were over I found I learned more from the bad than from the good. They're character builders and I am one who has A LOT of character. And for that I'm thankful. On another note, I recently read a blog post by Laura Lippman on one word resolutions for the New Year. Now usually my only resolution is not to make any resolutions but her post intrigued me. So I decided my one word resolution for 2012 would be temperance. No sillies, I don't drink too much...in fact I should probably drink more. My problem is I need ...

When walking in my grandparents' house from taking my grandfather to the doctor I found the aide in the kitchen on her cell phone and my grandmother by herself in the living room. According to Cille and Mom this is an ongoing thing. So...I made a phone call and this is how it went: Me: Hi, I just found your aide in the kitchen on her cell phone and my grandmother alone. Does she supposed to even have a cell phone with her? My grandmother can't be left a lone...what if she had tried to get up and fell? Personal care agency: You mean your grandmother can't be left alone at all, so the aide can't leave the room at all? Me: She has to leave the room to do some things I just don't want her talking on the freakin' cell phone while she's here. You do know my grandmother's a fall risk? Agency: Yes, we do. Me: Well how well can you watch someone when you're either talking on the phone or texting? Personal care agency: I'm just trying to clarify, you...

As I was taking a wheelchair out of the store to take to my grandmother I noticed a sign not to take wheelchairs or scooters outside. Well, being one to not follow rules I started out the door with it...and all of a sudden heard "BEEPBEEPBEEP!" I understand they might be afraid of the chairs getting stolen, but it was a fairly big wheelchair with a metal bar attached to it. It's not like we could stuff one in the trunk or something. Yes, that's right folks- Beware of Mamaw Cille the Wheelchair Bandit and her two nefarious sidekicks Glenda the Bad Witch and The Book Worm! They strike fear into the hearts of pharmacies and medical supply stores everywhere. Mwahahahaahhaha, hide your walkers, hide your canes, hide your Poli-grip and hide your Ben-gay!

I'm going to get on my soapbox for a few minutes. I'm sorry if my opinion offends anyone but oh well. I see certain phrases that facebook users can "like". I've used this feature myself. There are some of these phrases concerning welfare or food stamps, basically they're making statements about the lazy, welfare riders of our society. It's true there are some people who take advantage of the entitlement programs. They know the laws better than the people working at the social welfare agencies. These are the people that want something for nothing and therefore take advantage of every program out there. These people, however, are in the minority. When you talk about welfare reform and you're getting tired of others sitting on their backsides taking tax dollars off of hardworking people the majority of the ones you're speaking of need it, worked for it, and therefore deserve it. It's true the entitlement system is broken,it needs to b...

After Dad's doctor appointment I made an off hand comment that my brother and I need to keep adding to the list of medical conditions our family has. Dad's response: "Well, things like cancer, diabetes, etc. is gonna happen. It's all generic." Me: "I think that's genetic, Dad." Dad: "Whatever. But it is."

On the way to Camp Bethel to look at Christmas lights- Alvin and the Chipmunks "Christmastime is Here" came on the radio-My Dad said,  "Lisa, turn that up. That's what I'm wanting to hear." (Who knew?) Chipmunks:"Christmas, Christmas time is here..." Mom: "ALVIN!" Dad: "Hush! I'm listening to the song." "Time for joy and time for cheer..." Mom: "ALVIN!" Dad: "I want to listen to the song!" "Simon wants a loop de loop, or whatever the heck they're saying..." Mom: "ALVIN!"... FUN TRIP.

Grandfather: Wanna walk? Cille: You wanna hush? Grandfather: Yeah. Cille: Well, do it then.

Earlier I wrote a post reviewing "Angel Evolution" by David Estes. This is the first book in the Evolution trilogy. Well, I'm pleased to announce David is giving away 200, yes 200!, e-book copies. It's a book I enjoyed very much. All you have to do to enter is: 1. Like David's facebook page- http://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Estes/130852990343920 or... 2. Follow his blog- http://davidestesbooks.blogspot.com/ or... 3. Follow him on twitter- https://twitter.com/#%21/davidestesbooks  To get your free e-book copy you can e-mail David at: davidestes100@yahoo.com.au (and tell him Lisa from I feel so unnecessary sent ya!) The giveaway will be open until December 13, 2011. Good luck! Lisa

1st book in the evolution series Angel Evolution by David Estes( e-book format) Published: Oct. 10, 2011 Young adult fantasy "Angel Evolution" is the first book in the Evolution trilogy. It centers on Taylor and Gabriel- Taylor is the only one who notices Gabriel's glow. She is both intrigued and scared of him. While Taylor is trying to find answers she finds herself in the middle of an ages old conflict. I like young adult books and I like fantasy so this was a winning combination. I enjoyed Taylor's quest to find out more about Gabriel and about herself. It wasn't an overlong story, it was a quick, enjoyable read. I look forward to reading the other two books in the trilogy.  4 out of 5 stars. book 2 in the series Disclosure- received a complimentary copy from the author. book 3 in the series You can find David at: http://davidestesbooks.blogspot.com/ http://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Estes/130852990343920 and https://twitter.com/#%21...

Cille- Lisa, I want you to get me some hair coloring. This ol' gray looks awful. Me- I think it looks good. I like gray hair. Cille- Not on me it doesn't. Me- Scott has gray hair, should he dye his? Cille- Men with gray hair look sophisticated.Women don't- they look like old hags.

We've been watching episodes of "News Radio" on Netflix. Tonight Dear Husband asked me this question: "When did Phil Hartman die?" Me: "I think it wasn't long after the show ended, and he didn't die. His wife killed him." (Have I mentioned I'm a blonde and was having one of those moments) DH: "So you mean being killed doesn't involve dying? So... if you killed me I wouldn't die right?" Me: "Uh, no."

As I was getting Cille ready to go riding one day my grandfather Bobo said this to her: "It's cold, you don't need to get out." Me: "She can't stay in the house all the time." Cille: "If I stay in the house all the time I'm just gonna dry up."

Cille has a history of bowel blockages so imagine the concern we felt when she's not been having bm's. After consulting with the doctor and her getting some, um, extra help, she went a few days ago. But she started having trouble again. So, we've been plying her with extra fiber and prune juice. Today we also had her up walking more. Lo and behold the deed happened. I don't think I've ever been this excited over poo before. She was less excited, however. My response was, "Woo hoo, you made a poopie!" Her response- "I made a something."

Waitress: What do you want on your grilled cheese sandwich? Dad: Cheese. Mom:Where are you going to get Scott's house shoes- Norton? Me: I guess I could. Dad: Yeah, you could go to Lowe's and see if they have any. Me: I don't think they sell house shoes at Lowe's, Dad. Dad: Oh, I bet they do. Then later... Lisa, watch that idiot swerving in front of you. He's probably talking on his cell phone and googling or taking pictures of his crackberry. Or he could be tweeting on his pee pod. You know now they got this pod thing the size of a clipboard and you can read magazines on it? Why can't people just buy a freakin' magazine instead of carrying those things around?

As I was getting into the car Scott suddenly started screaming in a high pitched voice, "Aaaah, my eyes I got Pepsi in my eyes, they've been pepsified, I'm blinded by the Pepsi!" He then wiped them and said, "Oh, no I blew my nose on this rag, now my eyes have been pepsi/boogerfied!" If anyone was wondering- yes it is fun living with a 12 year old in a 50-something yr. old body. Loads and loads of fun.

As I was in my grandmother's kitchen the other day I heard my dad put my little niece up to calling me this- "Say hey Aunt Pookie." Baby Niece: "Hey Aunt Poopie." Yes, family members call me Pookie and yes, it is such an  appropriate nickname for a 30-something yr. old.

I like the song "Moves like Jagger" by Maroon Five. Borrowing from "American Bandstand", it's got a good beat and you can dance to it. Unfortunately right now an appropriate song title for me would be "Moves Like a Geriatric." When the weather changes, my body betrays me...or maybe I betrayed my body.Huh, maybe I should have listened to the doctors when they were practically screaming "DON'T DO THAT!"See, I have degenerative disk disease...which isn't really a disease but is just my disks in my back wore out a lot earlier than they should have. And because of having the attitude of "I don't need no stinking help" I herniated some disks and have sciatica. Fun, fun. So whenever the weather turns cooler, my joints and muscles stiffen up and I walk as if I have a stick up my bum. Of course, if someone remembered to take her neurtonin and glucosamine, in addition to doing her stretchy exercises she'd feel a lot better. ...

Scott and Dad was talking about me as if I wasn't in the room earlier: Dad- She ain't listening to me. Hey, I said turn the music up. Me- If you'd quit talking you'd be able to hear it. Scott- She's focused, she's talking to her cyber friends. Dad- Talking to her slobber friends? Me- Yeah Dad, slobber friends. Scott- No cyber, for a shy person she sure is social online. Me- That's because I don't like looking at people.

Mother comes to our door a minute ago with a bunch of kids, she asks her adolescent daughter if she wants candy.Leaning against our bannister, she replies "No" coolly. I ask her if she likes tootsie rolls, she replies "YEAH!" and takes the bag from me. I know how she feels-tootsie rolls revert me back to a little kid, too.

"Lisa," my grandfather said to me when I got to his house, "I need you to get me some Pepto Bismol, the white kind." "Pepto bismol is pink," I said. "No it's white, they have it at the Dollar Store." "You mean milk of magnesia?" "Is it white and it works ye?," he said. "Yes." "Well, get me some, I want it for bumps. I put some on a bump before and it took it off." "Okaaay." Yes, my grandfather is the Appalachian version of the dad from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", but instead of using Windex to cure everything he uses Milk of Magnesia. Constipated? milk of magnesia. Got bumps? Put a little milk of magnesia on 'em. Fever blister? milk of magnesia. Warts? milk of magnesia. That's right- Milk of Magnesia: It loosens your bowels and cures your acne!