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Maybe I'll Exercise

At my check-up the nurse practitioner asked if the neurontin I take helps. I told her yes, it helps my leg. Scott thinks it also helps my mood, but I happen to think my mood is PRETTY FREAKIN' PEACHY anyway. The nurse also went over a self care checklist with me: "Do you smoke?" No "Do you eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables every day?" No "Do you exercise at least 30 minutes every day?" No (See a theme here?) "Do you sleep at least 7 hours at night?" No  "How much alcohol do you drink?" Not enough Nurse: "Ok, you have to have at least one goal to on this list to improve your self care. Which one do you want to work on?" Me: "Oh geez, I guess I'll try to exercise more. Maybe."  I know I need to take better care of myself, I'm a chubby little monkey and my eating habits aren't so great. But COME ON exercising is about as exciting as watching paint dry and Chips Ahoy takes waaay better th...
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The Tasmanian Devil On Speed

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As I was making another doctor's appointment for my grandfather yesterday I told the receptionist,   "He'd like to see the new doctor next time if possible." "No problem," she said, "but may I ask why he wants to switch because she's going to ask me." "He prefers male doctors.", I said. ( I get it, I prefer to see female nurse practitioners. Gee I come from a sexist family.) " I understand, it's his choice if he wants to change." However, that was only part of the reason ny grandfather wanted to switch doctors. He does prefer male doctors but there were other factors. And though I believe in speaking my mind, I also wanted to be tactful. (My family has opinions on my tactfulness but they're WRONG.) Here are the other reasons: She would make coffee nervous. I leave appointments with my grandfather feeling as if I drank several shots of espresso and I'm not even her patient. She doesn't give the p...
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Hospital Stay

My grandmother had to go to the ER today because she was having trouble breathing. When the doctor came in and told her she needed to stay a day or two for observation, she proclaimed this in front of him: "SHIT! You mean I have to stay? I didn't come up here to stay."
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