I Feel So Unnecessary

Today I had my three month check-up. Whoopee! My nurse practitioner was discussing my blood work and vitals with me and this is how it went: NP: "Your blood pressure was good this time." Me: I've cut back on the salt. NP: "Well, it's working, so just keep doing it. Your blood sugar was fine but you know with your poly-cystic ovarian syndrome and your family history it does make your more susceptible to diabetes so we have to keep a close eye on your blood sugar. Do you drink a lot of soft drinks with sugar?" (This is where I try to come up with a believable lie) Me: Well... NP: "Fess up, do you drink three a day?" Sometimes. NP: They're what 150 calories each?" I guess so. (Sure they would be if I drank cans...but I don't...) NP: "Ok, three at 150 calories each in a day, that's about 600 calories...that's about a whole meal at once. If you were to cut those out or replace them with water (ick) or sugar-free drink...

The husband had a check-up recently. His potassium has been low and the doctor was going over options to get the level higher. Scott explained to him it had dropped before when he started exercising again and losing weight. He said he thought that's what was happening now and began explaining to the doctor about what was going on with him- Scott: "When a person starts to lose weight they lose fluid first...but of course you know that." Me : "Yes, he would considering he's a DOCTOR." Scott: "You know I had a sleep study, my neurologist had ordered one..oh yeah did you know I see a neurologist? What's his name?" Me:"Dr. A**hole." Scott:"I don't think she cared for him." Me: "Ya think?" Doctor: "No, I didn't." What does he do for you?" Scott: "It's not the same one but this one does a test on my neck, to check my carotid arteries." Me: "He doesn't treat him for h...