Showing posts from July, 2011

Sleeping Next To Darth Vader

The husband had a check-up recently. His potassium has been low and the doctor was going over options to get the level higher. Scott explained to him it had dropped before when he started exercising again and losing weight. He said he thought that's what was happening now and began explaining to the doctor about what was going on with him-

Scott: "When a person starts to lose weight they lose fluid first...but of course you know that."
Me : "Yes, he would considering he's a DOCTOR."
Scott: "You know I had a sleep study, my neurologist had ordered one..oh yeah did you know I see a neurologist? What's his name?"
Me:"Dr. A**hole."
Scott:"I don't think she cared for him."
Me: "Ya think?"
Doctor: "No, I didn't." What does he do for you?"
Scott: "It's not the same one but this one does a test on my neck, to check my carotid arteries."
Me: "He doesn't treat him for his neurol…

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No, It's Not Too Hot

Because of my grandmother's condition she can't drive so she relies on me and my mother to take her out. Usually she likes riding on the back roads. When I went to visit her today she was ready to go out because she had been in the house for too long. So she asked me this almost as soon as I got there:Cille: "Is it real hot out there Lisa?"
Me: "Yes it is."
Cille: "Is it too hot for me to get out?"
Me: "I don...
Cille: "No, it's not."Of course I took her out because no matter how old I am- if either one of my grandmothers says "Jump!" I immediately obey them...because they scare me.

Wise Was Filleted Today

Me: "You know Wise flooded today?"
Scott: "Wise was filleted today?"
Me: Good grief. Did you know that parts of Wise and Pound flooded today?"
Scott: "Wise flooded? How did that happen?"
Me: "It rained a lot."
Scott: "Wise is built on a mountain, how can it flood there?"
Me: "It flooded in the flat parts."
Scott: "There are no flat parts in Wise, it's built on a mountain."
Me: "Yes, there is. There are scoopy out parts in Wise that are a bowl and they flooded."
You probably can't tell by the conversations I post...but yes we both are above average intelligence. Scary, ain't it?


Scott the Ninja

As I said in an earlier posting my husband has a neurological condition similar to Parkinson's Disease and has trouble moving at times. He sometimes freezes up. He was explaining this to my brother one day-

Scott: "You know sometimes when the med starts to wear off and I start to lock up, the only way I can move is to drop into a tai chi stance. So I figure the only job I'm  really qualified for now is ninja."

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Mom: "How do you feel?"
My grandmother: "Fine, I reckon I feel better than how you all act."

You Look Just Like Buddy Holly

I got new glasses a few days ago. I was having trouble seeing out of the old ones and they were also starting to tear up. I got plastic frames, kind of retro looking. I had gotten used to wearing wire  frames for a long time but decided to go back to plastic frames. They're not as butt ugly as they used to be. I used to wear the huge, square plastic frames. Not a good look for a seven year old. Anyway, since I got so used to wire frames, I was having a hard time adjusting to the new ones. My husband kept looking at me and told me, "You look cute in your new glasses." I said, "I don't know. I think I look  like Buddy Holly." He then said, "A little, you should take up the guitar." (thanks dear) To which I responded, "That'll be the day."

he, he...oh how I amuse myself.

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Hillbilly MacGyver

My husband has dystonia- a movement disorder similar to Parkinson's Disease. Because of this he, uh well has trouble moving. Duh. Anyway, at times he needs help putting on his socks. Whenever I try to help for some reason he screams in pain. Hey, it's not like it's easy putting socks on an adult. So, he devised home-made assistive technology to help him put on his socks. That's a picture of it to the right. He puts his socks over the cardboard, slips his foot in the stretched-out sock, and then uses the pen attached to the string to lift his sock up. It actually works quite well. I call him the Hillbilly MacGyver.

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You Look Like An Ape

As I was leaving with my grandmother yesterday afternoon she looked at my grandfather and said, " My gosh, you need to shave. You look like an ape.

Scratch Your Anger

My grandmother Cille has a particular philosophy when someone gets angry. She says, "They need to scratch their ass and get glad."

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Maybe Scott Will Keep Me

I told my grandmother today was my brother and sister-in-law's 11th anniversary. She asked if Scott and I will make it to 11 yrs. I told her I hoped so, if Scott keeps me. She said, "Well Scott's alright. Now if you'll just be alright."

Hide the Scissors

Sometimes I get a little stressed out, because of this I sometimes feel the need to cut my hair. A few days ago I did just that. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have considering I ended up looking like a prison escapee.

Because of my hair cutting escapades my husband threatens to hide the scissors. I'm tempted to tell him to do so but just as soon as he does I'll need them for something and can't find them. I'll then get pissed and start yelling at him, "Where's the freakin' scissors?" We don't want that, now do we?

Anyway, because I went all "Britney Spears" on my head my mom had to even out my hair. She kept cutting and cutting and cutting... until it was finally all even. Now I'm sporting a pixie cut ( and no I'm not going to post pictures of it to enhance the post because...just well, NO). On someone like Audrey Hepburn a pixie cut looks good, on a tall chubby girl- not so much.

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