Family+Marriage+Caregiving+Book Reviews= A Blog With An Identity Crisis
Dad On Winning The Lottery
"Hey Lisa, you remember that ride at Silver Dollar City that looked like a big ol' rock and you went inside it and it was like a cave?"
"Well, when I win the lottery I'm gonna build a house and it's gonna be like that, a big ol ' rock cave and what was the name of that place where the Flintstones lived?"
Scott- "Bedrock." Dad- "Well, mine's going to be named Dirt Clot."
And... on my chicken philly steak I was in the middle of eating- "That looks like something the cat threw up."
Me- "Thanks, Dad."
My grandmother had to go to the ER today because she was having trouble breathing. When the doctor came in and told her she needed to stay a day or two for observation, she proclaimed this in front of him: "SHIT! You mean I have to stay? I didn't come up here to stay."
My husband had a doctor's appointment a few days ago and afterwards I asked him if he wanted to go anywhere else. He wasn't sure and then I reminded him that a new hardware store was open.
"Ooh. Let's go there", he exclaimed.
Cause, ya know, tools are da bomb.
So my first impression was that it was shiny and that most of the things in there I had no clue what they were. But the husband was happy.
"What's this?", I asked.
"It's a wrench."
"Oh. I just liked it cause it's the color of The Hulk."
Then he started explaining some thingabobby to me:
"Yeah. I don't really know what you're saying but that's ok. I'm tired. I think I'm gonna sit down."
"Can you sit in it or is it on display?"
"Uh. I'm gonna sit in it. I'll tell em I'm trying it out."
"Oh. It has a tray."
"Ooh. An armrest."
"I think that's to set drinks on."…
As far as politics go I tend to be slightly left of center. Though I am conservative in some ways. My cat, Sabrina, however, tends to lean more towards the right.
Yes. My cat is a Republican. While I believe in providing aid to those less fortunate my cat thinks they need to pull themselves up by their pawstraps. She wants Caticare and Caticaid to be cut. She believes that kitty stamps should be restricted to buy Meow Mix and not luxuries like catnip. If a cat can afford caticures and cattoos then they shouldn't be on public assistance.
I've tried to explain to her that kitty stamps cover very little and don't get a cat through the month but she just turns her head and goes back to reading Ayn Rand.
I'll keep trying to sway her but she can be one stubborn kitty. But I'm for sure getting rid of the Donald Trump poster.