Cover Me

 My Dad's medical coverage has recently changed. He needed me to look at it to translate because the government is SO clear in explaining things. Here's the conversation we had:

"Lisa, here's these papers I need you to look at. You need a medical degree to figure them out."

"These just tell you what's covered under your insurance and what isn't and this one tells you which doctors take your insurance," I said.

"Well tell me what's covered or not."

"Ok'.

"Are dental visits covered?", he asked.

"Let me see. No, I can't find any. Wait, it says that it covers for things like oral surgery and x-rays."

"How about dentures?"

"No."

"Well I guess I'll just have to borrow some from the family."

"It covers mental health services", I said grinning widely.

"I don't need those."

"Says you."

"What else does it cover?"

" Medical equpment-oxygen supplies, prosethics, ostomy bags."

"Ostomy what?"

"Ostomy bags, they're bags you wear on your side for waste."

"Nah, I got my shorts for that."

(Good grief)

"They also cover home health but not personal care. Regular Medicaid covers personal care. But this one covers social workers and someone to come in and help you with your bath."

He asked, " Wonder if they'll pay your Mommy for that?'

" I doubt it."

"They also cover for midwives", I said.

" I don't need one of those now."

"I imagine not."