Walkin' After Midnight

The other night my grandfather was taking a bath and I needed to go to the bathroom in a hurry. So, I called downstairs to my Mom to warn her I was coming- she has a tendency to be spooked easily at things that go bump in the night. After I took care of business she asked- "Could you get Sassy and put her in? I can't catch her." 
Oh boy! So I went to chasing my cat- I'd go one way and she'd go the other and all the while I was praying to Jesus that a booger wouldn't jump out and get me. After I finally go her and put her in I went back upstairs hoping to go to bed but nope- the 2nd great flood had come and it was in our bathroom.

"Lisa, get a flashlight", my grandfather exclaimed. We need to go and turn off the water, I can't get it turned off in the bathtub. But I want to go to bed! He then told me to go check the spigot and I did- and turned off the water. "How'd you do that?", he asked.
"I turned it off."
It takes a woman to do a man's job.
Finally I got back in bed only to be greeted by dear husband letting off gas bubbles at regular intervals.
"Good grief, that smells like the pits of hell."
"You would know being a Baptist." 
Funny.

My wandering cat




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