Ooh Shrimp

While at the cardiologist's office yesterday:

Nurse: We don't have much history on you so I'm going to have to ask you some questions.
Dad: Ok.
Do you drink?
No.
Do you smoke?
Yes.
Do you use recreational drugs?
Does rabbit tobacco count?
Are you allergic to shrimp or any other shellfish?
No, not that I know of. I sure would like to have some good ol' shrimp. I ain't had any in a while.
 ( I think it was at this time that the nurse realized she was in over her head.)
Are you allergic to latex?
I ain't ever tried any.
Do you ever see lights or spots in front of your eyes?
I seen some lights fly over the house the other night. Does that count?
Does you ever feel a choking sensation or a tightness in your chest?
Only when I'm around my family.
Do you ever feel anxious or stressed?
Only around my family.Have you noticed your voice getting deeper or any other changes?
(in a deep voice) No.

It was then I showed my maturity and started giggling.

Then later as she was about to do an EKG- I thought I was going to have to shave you but I don't.

Dad: I come from a hairy family. You should see my sisters and some of my aunts.