I Feel Like Hatching

Today at Dad's Doctor Appointment:

The nurse asked, "Have you had a flu shot?"
Dad replied with, "Nooo, I haven't had one of those in a long time."
"Do you want one?"
" I don't like needles."
Well if you're between the ages of 18-62 you don't have to get an intramuscular one. You can get a transdermal one."
Where would the inner muscular one go?"
"I'm thinking your tongue", I said.
"Well, with the transdermal one it would be a tiny needle and barely go under your skin.", said the nurse.
"Ok."
"Are you allergic to eggs or had any reaction to any egg like product?"
"Well, I had two this morning. Will they go against me?"
"Good grief", says I.
"No"
"Here you go."
"Ouch."
"Did it hurt?", I asked.
"No."
"Now Lisa when your Mamaw calls for a report tell her I'm bloated and have worms."
"Sure."
Later...
"After getting that shot I taste chicken soup. And feel like I'm 'bout to hatch an egg."
"I'm sure you do."



Comments

Post a Comment

Please leave a comment, it strokes my ego. Except from the spammers. Spammers bad.

Popular posts from this blog

Maybe I'll Exercise

At my check-up the nurse practitioner asked if the neurontin I take helps. I told her yes, it helps my leg. Scott thinks it also helps my mood, but I happen to think my mood is PRETTY FREAKIN' PEACHY anyway. The nurse also went over a self care checklist with me: "Do you smoke?" No "Do you eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables every day?" No "Do you exercise at least 30 minutes every day?" No (See a theme here?) "Do you sleep at least 7 hours at night?" No  "How much alcohol do you drink?" Not enough Nurse: "Ok, you have to have at least one goal to on this list to improve your self care. Which one do you want to work on?" Me: "Oh geez, I guess I'll try to exercise more. Maybe."  I know I need to take better care of myself, I'm a chubby little monkey and my eating habits aren't so great. But COME ON exercising is about as exciting as watching paint dry and Chips Ahoy takes waaay better th...
Read more

The Tasmanian Devil On Speed

Image
As I was making another doctor's appointment for my grandfather yesterday I told the receptionist,   "He'd like to see the new doctor next time if possible." "No problem," she said, "but may I ask why he wants to switch because she's going to ask me." "He prefers male doctors.", I said. ( I get it, I prefer to see female nurse practitioners. Gee I come from a sexist family.) " I understand, it's his choice if he wants to change." However, that was only part of the reason ny grandfather wanted to switch doctors. He does prefer male doctors but there were other factors. And though I believe in speaking my mind, I also wanted to be tactful. (My family has opinions on my tactfulness but they're WRONG.) Here are the other reasons: She would make coffee nervous. I leave appointments with my grandfather feeling as if I drank several shots of espresso and I'm not even her patient. She doesn't give the p...
Read more

Hospital Stay

My grandmother had to go to the ER today because she was having trouble breathing. When the doctor came in and told her she needed to stay a day or two for observation, she proclaimed this in front of him: "SHIT! You mean I have to stay? I didn't come up here to stay."
Read more